But damn me if he doesn't look like he's got a bad perma-tan in my visualisation.
In my very ISG attempts to meditate he looks orange, like he's put on too much Ambre Solaire and I just can't fix the image.
So guess what? I ain't enlightened yet.
For the dinner, they put all the gym bunnies (because we’d all met Krystal in the gym) in a faraway corner of the ballroom which was fun because we could muck about and the aunties wouldn’t see
Shantini was sitting there looking around looking real worried, and then she suddenly said real quietly, “Errrrr, I’m like the only Indian in this whole room!”
There were about 40 tables, 400 people and yah, she was the only Indian.
She said she’d give us five dollars if we could find another Indian but we couldn’t. The Indian supervising waiter guy didn’t count, even though he tried to hit on her. He sent word by a waitress that he thought she looked very nice or something lame like that, so she sent back the message “Oh thank you. My husband will be very happy to hear that.” *Big fake grin.*
Lannie and I were getting desperate cos there were no Indians for miles. We even considered going out to finding one to come in and sit at one of the tables for a few minutes just so we could get the five ringgit but Shantini wasn’t having any of that.
I was wearing the tightest cheong sam ever which made all the ugly bits stick out so I had to sit very straight all night and not eat. Damn difficult when you’re starving. Later I found out the sides had split a bit. Oops. See, that’s why I need to starve for a few weeks.
But we were all so damn ladylike it was impossible. Of course nothing compares to Krystal who is so small she could be the living Tinkerbell. She can sit in a thimble and still have space. This means she can wear anything AND
Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ... ...
It’s like the only wedding I have ever been to where there were totally cute slide shows and funny videos of the bride and groom, and no long boring sleepy speeches. Yay!
And no dried up fruitcake in a sad little cardboard box – there were Patchi chocolates. And any place with chocolate earns extra points with greedos like me.
Shantini was plotting how to steal the Patchis off the next table which was empty but they cleared it before we had the chance. Evil.
We yum senged the loudest even though we were at the back – gym bunnies what, have to maintain our reputation for being loud and attention seeking.
So, yay for fun wedding parties.
I was thinking about how I want to get married just for the big fat party and the GIANT CAKE and a big poofy dress and heaps of photographs so I can be hiau, and getting to be the centre of attention.
A few months ago I rang up Shan and told her all my party plans.
“I want to get married cos I want a BIG BIG PARTY! It’s gonna be the best party, EVER. But I don’t really like the marriage part lah. So how?”
“Uh… just have a party then. You don’t have to get married wat.”
Shantini is so crever.
So. I’m going to go squeeze out heaps of money from somewhere and I’m going to have a fabulous birthday party this year. And only special people get invited. So there.
Om Ah Ra Ba Tsa Cupcake
Okay, so in case you haven't already guessed, this was just an excuse for me to post pictures of myself. I am so turning into Xiaxue aren't I?
Then again, the ugly pictures are hardly what you call being vain.
Anyway, not that I think I am totally supermodel or anything, but I think the sheer change from totally fugly aged12 to 76kg-aged17 to now merits some goddamn applause.
And of course, proves that point about change and how I find it so weird that within that same time frame, other people I've known have remained as untransformed as the old relics you find in Greece.