On the up: Feeling inspired
On the down: Not knowing what to do with the inspiration
I’ve been feeling all restless since coming back from Gaden, and at the same time feeling so rubbishy about being back on earth that I just can’t be fucked to do anything except mong around the house in pyjamas and feel crap about how much work I still have to do.
So I’ve been reading blogs to waste time. Found this stuff on
Jean Ai's so decided to knick it and spend a few more minutes being self obsessed. Here goes!
Seven dreams before death
1. Travel to Marrakech
2. Get Chod initiation
3. Writing a Booker-prize-winning novel
4. Be featured in Vogue or on Oprah
5. Get bigger boobies
6. Drive a Z4
7. Fit into a size 8
Seven things I can't do in this lifetime
1. Touch a frog
2. Get thin
3. Eat something that’s still alive
4. Understand accounting
5. Be tidy
6. Learn Mandarin
7. Be a 100% lesbian
Seven things that attract me
1. Anything pink
2. Chocolate covered anything
3. Candle lights
4. Big blocks of colour
5. Anything kitsch
6. BOYS BOYS BOYS
7. Glossy magazines
Seven things I say
2. moop moop
3. I’m sooo hungry
4. ohmygod I’m soooo full
5. I’m soooo irritated!
6. What the fuck?
7. Sure or not?!
Seven books that I love (seven? I’m only allowed seven? Am going to up it to 10 :P)
1. The Ground beneath her feet – Salman Rushdie
2. The Satanic Verses – Salman Rushdie
3. At Swim, Two Boys – Jamie O’Neill
4. The Line of Beauty – Alan Hollinghurst
5. The Passion – Jeanette Winterson
6. Sexing the Cherry – Jeanette Winterson
7. American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis
8. The God of Small Things – Arundhati Roy
9. Norwegian Wood – Haruki Murakami
10. The Forsyte Saga – John Galloway
Seven movies that I've loved
1. The Big Blue
2. Betty Blue
4. Amor Es Perros
5. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
6. Mary Poppins
7. My Fair Lady
Oh god that was just so much fun! Then again, anything is fun when you’re procrastinating, no?….
Tsem Tulku Rinpoche with the reincarnation of his Guru Zong Rinpoche looking at photographs.
Tsem Rinpoche with two cute little local Tibetan ladies. I love this photo because it encompasses the whole lovely simplicity and happiness of Tibetan Buddhist culture.
And a cute geeky boy who makes you fresh hot chocolate with big fat pieces of chocolate.
We spent most of the night talking about weirdos where they work (which is where I used to work too)... including stories about how one of their bosses had started to tell them about how he'd wanted to donate sperm to a sperm bank... eewwwww. It made us feel more sick than we already were on the excess of chocolate.
To make ourselves feel better, we drank plenty of martinis and thought it would be fun to take lots of photos of us feeling glamourous on a Friday night.
Usha looking coy and shy...
...which is absolute bollocks cos she's anything BUT, and we'd spent 50% of the time talking about her rather strange infatuation with some guy. It went:
"Aiyoh, just admit it. You're in love with him."
"No, I'm not!"
"Yes you are. Just sleep with him and get it over with."
"I'm not in love with him lar."
"No wait, I don't think she should sleep with him because then she'll really fall in love with him."
"Oh yah, that's right. If you sleep with him you better make sure you don't fall in love with him. Don't you dare come crying to us afterwards."
"But I'm not in love with him!"
(She really is in love with him lah. Has been for 15 years. Why can't the silly girl admit it to herself)
Shantini really does think she's still 6 (but in a nice way)
See, I told you her face looks like chocolate. It's so fricking smooth and you always feel like taking a bite out of her face, expecting it to taste like cadbury.
Being the kind of pathetic Chinese girl I am with zit tolerance for alcohol, it was probably a crap idea to go drinking with two Indian girls who can just keep on drinking and drinking and drinking and still look like they're straight enough to go off for an interview. I was laughing all over the place like an infant after my two fat vodkas and they were looking at me with that kind of pitiful look like, "Aiyo these poor Chinese people".
"Awww, you are drunk!" said Shantini, half amused.
Arg! We're just so cute!
Next day, Saturday, I did the very-good-girl thing by going to a meeting with writers from Dharma and we talked about all the work I was supposed to be doing but hadn't. Joe, the head of media and publications has this wonderful way of making you feel like you want to do work because he's so nice and he talks to you so nicely and has this cute smile. Then when you go home, you forget all about it.
I even went to Tsok in the evening. Oh god, I'm so holy I make myself sick. I figured I'd better do some Dharma to strike a balance with samsara. So I turned up at the puja all dressed to go party (with a very decent top over it so everyone thought I was being angelic). The minute we finished, I put away my pillow and legged it out the door..
... to Zeta bar where Shirley was throwing a champagne party. Yay!
It's full of ugly old white men there, yeech, but the band was good (they could actually sing) and heaps and heaps of champagne, and being fed strawberries by an adorable funny- looking waiter.
It's most fun taking photos with people you just met 2 minutes ago.
Shirley pointed out this girl in the bar who apparently goes there every week, sliding herself up and down men and licking men's ears. I was all, "Ewwwww?!" and thought maybe she'd just been exaggerating. Half an hour later, there she was sliding herself up and down some big old gross guai lo. It was like roadkill - you don't want to look at it but you have to.
But despite all the strange old people, it was fab fab fab and we had our own little sombong corner with all the big bottles of champagne and cosy sofas (absolutely necessary for my fucked up legs). Everyone was dancing all night long but thanks to my bad leg injuries (from all that evil evil evil step), I had to sit out most of it and find refuge in the sofas. Everyone was all, "Geez! You're younger than us, what's wrong with you?"
So I found my own fun by taking photos.
The obligatory group shot - amazing how we all look like we're so together after all that bubbly? (I look so chunky, yuck, but I blame it on the white!)
Chocolate Shirley and sister Evelyn, whose husband was the only good looking guy in the whole place. I was SO gutted when I found out he was already hers. Good thing I didn't do the siddle-up-and-start-flirting thing too early on in the evening.
I was so incapacitated, all I could do was take photos of myself. One of the girls at the party came up to me later and said, "So have you finished taking photos of yourself yet?" which err... made me feel totally silly.
Well, damnit, I couldn't dance so the next best thing was to look at other people dancing. hmph!
But it was all good. Everyone (like Susan) felt sorry for a poor undancing Dolly, and would take turns to come sit with me.
So there it was, a big happy weekend. And now it's Sunday night and there's a whole week full of work up ahead :(
Tomorrow morning, I have to send my mother and her friend who's visiting from England to Starhill for uber luxurious massages and pampering at the spa while I get to go tend to three photo shoots in the area. Well, I guess we have to do some work in our lives - it funds the martinis, after all.
Then I realised there were about a million other faeries out there already both in the real world and in the blog world, and I felt a bit bad about copycatting their identities. Anyway Shirley said I should be a pixie instead because of the hair (and probably because I'm short!)
So I decided to became dolly again... which is probably a bit perverse because dolls scare the shit out of me. Rinpoche gave me one of those porcelain ones from Japan. He passed a message on to the person who gave it to me: "Tell her it's just like her. Cute, fat and adorable." I am absolutely convinced she's going to come alive one night and stab me in the heart while I'm sleeping.
Okay, so since I'd rather not be associated with one of those scary white china dolls that stab people in their sleep, I metamorphosed into DollyGirl as inspired by Anna Sui and that fantastic perfume with the funny pink face:
And then of course, there are a dozen other names that A calls me (but those are sacred and secret).
I feel terribly confused and schizophrenic.
And I have no idea why I'm writing all this. I think I drank too many martinis tonight.
Then we tried to prod him out with the broomstick:
It got worse.
"I think he likes it up there," said A.
"I think he's pissed off at you for throwing him up there," I said.
So A tried even harder to get him out:
But it just wouldn't work and poor Gerard was disintegrating all over my ceiling. We finally gave up whe one of his legs broke off: