On the up: Variety is the spice of life
On the down: How my head screws with me

I have this real identity problem - I saw this shrink when I was 14 who told my parents, in no less words, that I was a bit screwed up in the identity area. My mother freaked out a bit, wondered what had happened since I had always been the golden child.

The teenage-angst stage passed but I'm still neurotic and the identity thing is still an issue. This usually means:

On Monday, I'll see one of them super slim Chinese girls with super long straight hair with legs the length of the KL tower wearing some teeny tiny skirt and I'll think, "Oh, I wish I was more Asian and had GongLi hair."

On Tuesday, I'll see some really anorexic looking girl who's calves are smaller than my wrists and I think, "Oh thank God I don't look emaciated like that!" and feel incredibly healthy and boootiful.

On Wednesday, A will say he thinks Devon Aoki is totally hot and I'll totally paranoid that I don't look anything like her and think, "Why can't I be flipping half German and been scouted as a supermodel by the time I was 18!"

On Thursday, I bung together one of my strange (but fun!) fashion combos and think, "Hey, I look pretty damn cool. I'm fabulous!"

On Friday, I'll be having lunch with Shantini and we'll start talking about Natalie Portman and I think, "Damn, I wish I was tiny and could go bald and run around looking like a pixie."

On Saturday, I'll see a girl who is larger than me, with real sexy curves, who looks just fabulous and think, "Oh heck! I don't need to lose any weight. Maybe I should put on weight and look like her!"

On Sunday, I see some totally bogus advert in Vogue or something where the model is like 6foot3, a perfect size 6 and great tits and fabulolus big hair and can wear green eyeshadow without looking like a dragon I think, "Damn, I'm too short, I'm too fat, my tits are too small, my hair is a mess and I can't wear make up like that cos I don't have double eyelids" and get really depressed about my mediocrity.

Ad infinitum.