JJ just looked at me, sighed and said, "Oh my god, what happened to you, why are you so shallow?!"
I walked past La Senza and proclaimed that I absolutely must have one of those new seamless bras. JJ looked at me, sighed and said, "I don't get it. It's just underwear!" (Oh ho ho, not just any underwear, my dear!)
Later in the evening, I decided that I absolutely have to go find myself some terribly rich boyfriend who adores me so much he'll just throw tens of thousands of pocket money at me every week.
Think of all the Dharma stuff I can do - the statues! the offerings! supporting the Ladrang! helping the Gaden monks!
And of course, let's not forget: the occasional shopping spree at Pavilion! lots of branded makeup! dinners everywhere! holidays in Bali!
I want a rich boyfriend. I WANT.
Then, there was this terribly lomantic story about some wedding rings about somebody I know some more! which me go all "awwww" and "ooooh" and "ahhhhhhhhh" and *blink blink*.
And now, I like SO want someone to fall trulymadlydeeply in love with me and buy me a big fat diamond ring and marry me so I can have a big fat wedding.
Okay, not really. These are just things you think about when all you really want is to take someone (a certain someone?) home to bed and languish for hours underneath the covers teehee.
On the up: Chinese new year
On the down: Not having anywhere to go
I am bored bored bored! Chinese new year is just a big fat vacuum. On the up, this means I can sleep in and eat without feeling any morsel of guilt; on the down, this means I am bored bored bored. Everyone's gone away, the shops are all closed and there is nothing to do except look at myself in the mirror.
Today though, I thought I would make the effort to go visit Steven and his family - do the whole nice Chinese new year visiting thing. I resolved to get up early in the morning, bring along a pretty box of oranges and make it there in time for the lion dance.
I woke up too late, missed the lion dance and forgot the damn oranges.
Never mind, I made it all the way out to his big beautiful house to say hello (empty handed, the shame). I met Steven in BodyStep and while at first I was determined to dislike him because he was taking over from an instructor I adored, I now love love love LOVE LOVE him.
See, I'm really not into that whole surburban marriage thing at all but with Steven, I really really want to marry him in one of those big traditional weddings, have like a zillion kids with him, live in a beautiful house in Mutiara Damansara and go shopping on the weekends at Tescos. But hello! reality check. He is so not into me. And won't be. Ever. I must stop barking up the wrong trees!
The other thing that makes me feel annoyed and moochy when I meet up Steven is my not being able to dance up and down like a BodyStep bunny. Since he's an instructor, the mere sight of him reminds me of those good old loud, jumpy days when I was thin! beautiful! fit! and a total expert at every BS release from 55 to 63. Since screwing up my legs, I'm now fat! not quite so beautiful! and can barely remember how to hop.
Steven, because he is darling and caring like that, made me promise him that I'll go do an MRI on my legs SOON. I think I must. It's been 2 years and I really must sort it out before I drive myself nuts with the pain.
And now, I'm going out to Pavilion to go burn some cash and actually have a life. Sometimes I forget that I do actually have friends. happy noo year, moop moop.
|On the up: Kink|
On the down: Not getting any
JP has been putting ideas in my head again and because I'm so easily influenced, I let those ideas actually seep in and take root.
The most recent idea has been the SP one.
Recently, I saw SP get mad and almost-shout at someone and since he never EVER reacts to anything, it was all WOW! what a turn on! my heart beat a little faster, thud thud.
Then, today, when I had a huge long nap (oh the joy of Chinese New Year), I had this super kinky dream about SP and how sick, I actually enjoyed it. I surprise myself.
When Joy rang, I told her about it.
She laughed and laughed (in horror) and said, "OH MY GOD PARIS! I think we really have to find you a man."
I texted JP to tell him that he should fricking get out of my head already but he seemed very chuffed with himself about the whole thing. Like, wow, he'd achieved something.
Oh dear, I think this is a sign that I really should give it all up and just renounce already. It is but a sign of the times when we get far too carried away by our lusty loins and emotions of desire. Kaliyuga, indeed.