On the up: Happy happy happy
On the down: Fluctuating temperaments

I've been having big enormous mood swings and I've spent all of last week being in a bad mood with everybody. There's this girl in particular who really bloody gets under my skin and makes me want to strangle her, even in the temple, in front of all the lovely, smiling, peace-promoting Buddhas.

She has this terrible way of being extra manja to like, THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD, and thinks its endearing and cute. She's all like touchy-feeling, grabs your arm, grabs your hand, puts her arm all over your shoulder, touch your clothes, touch your hair, touch this touch that. It's nothing sexual lah of course, but just

FUCKING IRRITATING!

GET OUT OF MY SPACE, WOMAN!

You are not cute. The end. And please do something about that really TC hairstyle you've got going.

(Joy will know who I'm talking about since we spent a whole journey from Chinatown back to PJ talking about this)

Anyway, it doesn't take much to make a dolly happy - all she had to do was fuck off out of the picture and suddenly the whole day was roses again.

YAY!

(I know I seriously still need to work on that patience thing, but heck, sometimes you really want to just
strangle
someone)

Many of us spent all of today in a 3-session puja which you would think would be totally tortuous and difficult but ended up being really good. I actually really really loved being there today - even I was surprised at myself for all the enthusiasm. By the 2nd session, I had EVEN mastered the art of not falling asleep!

Sometimes, it's nice to just retreat from the whole wide world and concentrate on meditation. You kinda think it's going to be awful and tedious and that you're going to have to draaaaaaaag yourself through the meditation or whatever, but it ends up just making you feel hippy, happy and just very pleased about everything. It's a bit like drinking martinis, I suppose.

This was our little corner of paradise today. A few of us tucked ourselves into a corner (because it was warm, because Annette had an ionizer that stopped incense smoke from making us sneeze every 5 minutes, because it was just where all the fun people were hanging out). Shirley (the crazy one at the back!) looks like she's tripped out from having to chant over 30,000 mantras in one session.

The whole big long day of non stop pujas ended in a big happy mamak party (oh dear, you know it's time to get a life when you enjoy slopping around a mamak). Straight from nirvana, into the big gaping trap of samsara again...

Thing is, it is impossible to look unhappy in a mamak though so you kind of get lured into thinking it is the most happy place in the world. Look, see! All the happy people with their fried oily greasy plates of food.

Also, as we sat down, I suddenly noticed that this was the first time in about 2 years, no exaggeration, that I've actually seen Andee and Tashi TOGETHER-GETHER. Sometimes you forget that they are a couple because they're never ever in the same place together - what to do when you lead busy, busy exciting lives like, all the time.



They look super cute here! I love how this picture is so chipper cheery - they look like they only just started going out last week or something!

Eric Choong was also hanging out with us today and he SO does not look his age (I think he must drink one of them immortality potions daily!). Today, with his big glasses and no gel in his hair, Eric looked like the cutest little boy in the world, like aged 13. He was even wearing these cute colourful flip flops that made him look like he was just headed out to go play at the beach.


And thank god, for a change, I don't look entirely like I'm made out of a lump of dough. Seeeee, starving and surviving on soup and fruit IS THE WAY FORWARD (Okay, so I'm sure the insides of my body won't agree, but oh well). Now only another 5 kilos to go. *starves*



The three white triplets of bellville wanted a photograph together. All the sleeeeeek white should make the shot look quite glam, but remember, we are in a mamak and there's nothing but a fridge with canned drinks for a backdrop. So now they look like some bad rip off of some tired Taiwanese Mando-pop band.

Also, it was JP's birthday today so Andee called him up and yelled down the phone,

"HEY MOTHER FUCKER I HEAR IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY SO,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JP
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU"

(all of us on the table screamed the birthday song down the phone and it was a very beautiful rendition, thank you very much)

See, it MUST have been some kind of day of miracles because EVEN BEN was chilling out and relaxing. Ben is the biggest workaholic I have ever met, even more than Joe. Everytime I see him, it's like he hasn't slept in about 3MonthsStraight.

I keep sending him rude, loud, shouty messages on MSN to say GO TO BED! but he doesn't ever listen lah. So then, when you see him out and about, eating and just looking chilled, it's pretty like, AMAZING, DUDE. He was chilled enough to even pull a funny face for the camera!

See what meditation can do to you? You go crazy in the most excellent way!

JP is a mushroom. All he needs are spots

David the frog was wearing this FCUK tshirt yesterday. Mind, he looks about 12 and has this permanently glazed, sleepy, 12-year-old face so this tshirt is totally NOT him.... and the irony is probably why it works so well when he does wear it.

I wondered how Chin Li can get away with wearing an all yellow outfit... and heck, I feel so damn glamourous in this photo in my brand new liquorice dress and new smarmy photo face so this photo HAS to be here.

Toby Mou Mou is the cutest looking sausage masquerading as a dog in the whole wide world, and don't you forget it.

On the up: The 5 factor diet
On the down: Sticking to it

Rinpoche's started on this new diet thing which I'm helping him put together. It's this whole recipe book full of different ways you can make egg white omelettes which sounds a whole lot more blah than it is healthy. I thought I'd join him and do it as well but I can't hack the whole proper eating thing long term - it's a lot easier to like, just

staaaaaaaaaarve

and live on soup and dragonfruit.

On the up: Being lazy
On the down: Recharging your batteries

I JUST DON'T KNOW how some people do that non-stop work thing. Joe, Jenny, JP, Ruby etc who just go go go go go go go go go go go go go go goooooooooooooooooo

They are the work equivalent of that dude from The Big Blue who can dive for hours without breathing gear.

SIAO.

So seeing as I ain't Quite Up There yet, I decided to take two days off and do nothing but watch DVDs and read Harry Potter. I'd resisted reading Harry Potter up until now and finally decided to go out and buy the very first one to read. I loved it

BUT

still think Roald Dahl is better. I pick Charlie and his Chocolate factory any time over Harry and Hogwarts.

I totally absolutely 100% believe that if Roald Dahl had good 3d technology and excellent, aggressive, global market in his day, that he'd be raking just as much fame and cash too - if not more.

And if you haven't read any Roald Dahl, I'm afraid I cannot be your friend.

I've also been watching season 3 episodes of House and am now in love with Hugh Laurie again. See, the English were good for some things, I suppose.

While recharging my batteries and filling up on samsara fuel, I've also turned all my sleep hours upside down. Bedtime is now 5am and breakfast about 3pm... just pefect for my 7am wake up call tomorrow because we're filming!!! On a Sunday no less. That does mean I'm going to be a little super star though :)

On the up: New projects!
On the down: The need to sleep

There is soooooooooooo much going on that lunch has now become a luxury.

Suddenly, a Dolly has also become a scriptwriter (when under pressure, you discover talents you never knew you had) and is about to become the focus of a mini documentary (there's a mini celebrity in all of us).

I've decided to join a mini committee to organised a fundraising variety show. The initial plan was to grab a bunch of people, throw them on stage and make them SING! Stoopid, obviously. Because then there was talk of runners, and event managers and what about lights? sound? backdrop? event programme? *scream*


The upside to biting off more than you can chew is that you suddenly learn all these things you never knew even existed.

Also, I have started this which is very obviously a copy of The Coveted, but I think Malaysia is in need of it! You MUST pardon the terrible poses and it is ALSO ESSENTIAL that you ignore the fact that I need to lose 7 kilos. The emphasis is on the clothes, damnit.


I'm also in a little dilemma about moving out. It's a bit weird how there are some parents are trying desperately to kick their kids out of home, while my parents are trying desperately to keep me IN. I told a DollyDad that I was planning to move out with Zen Ben and he looked very very very sad indeed, which is probably far worse than if he just chucked a huge fit and screamed.


At the same time, there are plans underfoot to build a new house(s) - this means a whole new custom-made mini bungalow for me alone too, with its own entrance, car port and lap pool... which can also be far more tempting than renting, no? The catch is that my neighbours are well, my parents. LOL. They have promised not to interfere though.


Okay, what with all the excess of work, writing, scripts, books, edits, fundraisers etc I can't handle thinking about anything remotely complex. I'm going off to write a story now. bye bye.

On the up: Immaculate skills
On the down: The excessiveness of Things To Be Done

I am convinced that JP lives on nothing but sunshine, like a giant, human version of a solar panel, except this one functions even when the sun has set or it's overcast and rainy.

Congratulations to Rinpoche's brand new liaisons - they make everything in the centre happen and I'm a very hippie happy for the existence of people who can do and accomplish what I can't (yet). Think of all the merit of bringing infinite benefit to the world!! Wheeeeeeeeee!

TrulyMadlyDeeply, when I grow up I want to be like
Ruby
Henry
Paul
Jenny
Joe
Susan
Datin
Wan
Chia
SP
Tashi
JP
Mr Ngeow

Not in that order and not necessarily all at the same time (though it would be nice. AllTogether would equal Enlightenment already!)

I asked JP if, since I intro'd him to the centre and dharma, I would get to scavenge off some of the karmic goodies he's getting. Actually, it was more like, "Damnit, you better gimme some!" (which I guess was not very Dharma but oh well) and JP was all superduper nice by saying yes. I better lose some weight so that by the time he's up there sucking on martinis in the sky, he can reach down and pull me up by my collar.

I guess most of the people who read DollyBlog probably don't have a clue who these people are but take my little plastic head for it that they are AMAZING PEOPLE and I want to marry all of them.

I must be off to do more edits and writing and proofreading. Everything is due tomorrow and I am still trying to perfect the ability to emanate.

On the up: JP's organised head
On the down: Dolly's disorganised chaos

JP said the nicest thing to me about being disorganised today which made me almost want to cry.

We were talking about being organised and such, because JP is officially the most organised person I know (along with Wendy). It's quite fascinating to watch - you just sit there and watch him plan something. IT'S IMMACULATE. He doesn't forget ANYTHING.

See, there's a reason why he has such a big head and looks like a Doraemon.

On MSN:

Dolly says: I'm sure Rinpoche knows that i'd probably set the house on fire if i was put in charge of anythin remotely needing organisation
JP says: oh no
that scary huh
Dolly says: haha have u seen me ever being organised?!
JP says: you don't need to mah. you work wonders without any structure
Faery says: *made a funny face* how nice of you to say
JP says: it's true mah
JP says: you'll be a mess if you were organised.

I think that's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me *sniff*

On the up: Having lots of clothes
On the down: Not having enough wardrobe space AND not fitting into anything

I've had today freeeeeeee to sort out all the loose bits of work/chores/Things Long Left Undone.
And so.

I decided to clear out my wardrobe of Undesirables. Always good for clearing junk, practising non-attachment and making more room for more clothes in the near future. I got out two huge rubbish bags and prepared to CLEAR! By the end of it all, I told myself, I shall have a freeee, airy, wardrobe full of Just The Essentials.

But who the hell am I kidding?!!!!!!!!!

I looked at everything and thought,
"But this is so pretty!"
"But this is so vintage!"
"But this would be perfect with my new boots"
"But I need to keep this for proper work meetings."

So I think I ended up keeping 10 things for every one that I threw out.

The Other Dilemma was that I kept pulling things out and sayin to myself, "This would look So Damn Good on me if I was 7KILOS LIGHTER." And since I'm convinced that getting back to that Before size is still possible, I kept those things for Thinner Days. Nothing like a prettee tulle skirt as an incentive to stop eating chocolates.

Well, I haven't made my progress at all. The wardrobe is still full and I can't move my hangers because they're still jammed solid.

But but but:
- new incentives to survive only on mesclun salads
- the (re)discovery of a whole new lot of clothes! Think of the infinite outfit combinations just waiting to happen!

On the up: Getting paid for work
On the down: Really, really tiresome, nonsensework

Isn't it funny how you always want want want to have a Certain Type of Job, and then when you get it, you don't actually want it anymore.

Like how I always wanted a big fancy magazine job, and then when I got it, it made me want to puke into my tea out of the sheer frustration of listening to people talk non stop for 3 hours about photo shoots, branded underwear, nail salons, more photo shoots, stylists, make up, what font goes on the front cover...

And how writing a script for a fashion reality show would seem exciting but really, just seems pretty
darn
vacuous
and blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Still, I've discovered untapped talent for making up lots of rubbish that actually ends up sounding intelligent. Mostly, it's off the top of my head, so I have yet to see if they're going to figure out that I don't really know what I'm talking about and make me rewrite everything. For now, it's nice knowing that I have my own special set of skills!

But maaaaaaaaaan,
Just
Can't
Wait
to finish off these 11 scripts.

And start doing something that actually matter.

That said, I'm also working on two books based on incredible teachings that are all about Getting Happy. (Forget your troubles, c'mon get happy! You better chase all your fears away! - Judy Garland!)

And really, TrulyMadlyDeepy it's about REALLY getting happy in the whole proper sense of the word.

Not just photo shoots, and branded underwear, and what font should go on the front cover(meh).

And I get to do all my work in Alexis and Palate Palette with the wonderful, happy company of peppermint tea! lattes! martinis! pavlova! So I get happiness proper, and temporary happiness *bliss*

I'm turning into such an idealist spiritualist I almost surprise myself.
So
Darn
Hippie
Happyyyyyy!

On the up: RM3000 cake
On the down: Low-budget birthday cake

On the up: Maggie
On the down: Impatience

Some of us were meant to meet Rinpoche for a meeting on Saturday night but as JP and I were driving over, we each got a text: "Dear Paris/JP, did you know fabulous tony roma's opened at the curve??? In Singapore it was one of my and the monks' favourites! Tsem T."

LongStoryShort, things are always unexpected and spontaneous in the world we call The Mandala (Buddhas' abodes) we all ended up in Tony Romas even though we'd all already eaten.

On the way, Rinpoche, JP and I bumped into one of JP's friends who read my article about Rinpoche in The Star and now has this bigbig hangup over the fact that Rinpoche talks to his students about sex and doesn't mind people drinking alcohol.

And now she sees us all heading over to Tony Romas.

What what what? Oh my god! The monk tells people they can have sex, he tells them it's okay to drink martinis, and and and he brings them to eat MEAT at Tony Romas?!

hahaha

Some people should so just get over themselves.

Anyway, since most of us had already eaten, we decided to just order a few things and share it out among all of us. I sat next to Rinpoche over dinner and made the mistake of asking him if I could please have some fries. The Buddhas don't seem to eat very much, but they sure do like making sure their students eat proper, so Rinpoche PILED THE FRIES on my plate.

And then I got onion rings too. And ribs. And salad. And more fries.

I was all, "No no no, really Rinpoche, thank you but I can't eat anymore."

He's like, "Ah! Never mind!!!!! Eat eat eat!"

I ended up just moving everything around quietly my plate trying to make it look less; and since Seng Piow was sitting next to me on the other side, I ended up giving him everything.

We went back to KMP for the meeting after that, which didn't end until about 7am There are times that I just totally love being there, hanging out with Rinpoche, talking about Dharma and being silly all at the same time. And then, there are times like last night, at 3am, when I was totally hating it because I just wanted to go home, watch DVDs and eat chocolate. I kept agro-ing in my head, so so so wanting to not have to play pick games anymore.

Rinpoche kept saying, "Okay! I'm going off to do my sadhana now" and all of us would do a little dance in our heads. And then he'd start telling us another story for another hour.

I've learnt that there is just no point in getting agro, so eventually I decided that I may as well give up the chocolate attachment and enjoy the stories that Rinpoche was telling about how, in his last life, JP was an Irish girl called Maggie, living on a farm.

You see, Rinpoches not only teach the Dharma, do extensive pujas, help to clear your spiritual obstacles, counsel you through bad relationships, advise you on how to deal with sensitive parents, bring you to enlightenment and teach you how to overcome your biggest weakness. They also tell lovely bedtime stories!