On the up: Hot boys
On the down: Never seeing them

I have to say, Dragpa House has some great looking people!

But poor things lah, nowadays they just look totally shagged. They need to sleep for about a hundred hours and do a face masque, then all will be okay again. Now, both of them look like they're dressed for a Halloween party, and they don't even need makeup.

I'm sharing a bathroom with JP, and right now it's about 99% my things and 1% his things. I've got makeup and foundation and sponges, and bottles and tubes and lotions and shampoos and boxes, tubs and packets of stuff. It's like EVERYWHERE.

JP has a toothbrush, hair gel and contact lens solution.

AND THAT'S IT?!

The thing is, if he used all those products at once (brushed his teeth, did his hair and wore contacts), he magically transforms into looking HOT again.

I HATE IT when people just use soap and water and look good!

But aiyo poor thing lah doesn't have time to do anything other than sleep and poop, if he's lucky.

We still love you though, even though you're all skinny and have eyes like saucers now. muaks

On the up: Flora and Fauna
On the down: Caretaking

Drakpa House isn't just for people. There are also two hyperactive dogs, two potted plans and pretty soon, a tankful of fish.

The dogs are cute because you can play with them and it never stops being funny, watching them go nuts over a chewy bone.

But plants are so boring, and they're looking a bit pathetic at the moment, like they're all keeled over and dying. JP comes back home just to water the plants... but since he has been looking like death-on-a-stick recently, I've volunteered to water the plants for him.

Of course, typically, I managed to forget this morning. When I saw JP, the first he asked was if I'd watered his plants. With all the millions of things he's got going in that big head of his, he can still remember his plants?! Amazing.

When I went up there to water them, they really looked like they were about to PIANG. So I drowned them in water and now I'm worried that I might have waterlogged them and kill them faster. Heck, I don't know how much water you're supposed to put into plants!

Soon there will be fish moving in too, thanks to JP. You can't play with fish, they just sort of swim about and blow bubbles and look at you in a really blank way.

And you know, JP bought those fish because he was reading about fish in a Dharma book one day, and suddenly *flash of lightning* got inspired to go out and buy a tankful of fish.

As you do.

I'm really worried he's going to ask me to feed them. The last time I had fish, I literally fed them to death. They ate and ate and then one day, they were all belly-up and floating :(

On the up: Writing jobs
On the down: Shitty magazine jobs

I absolutely have to learn my lesson - though you'd think I would have learnt it by now...

STOP TAKING UP SHITTY MAGAZINE WRITING JOBS

My latest foray into stupidity was to take up a job about wedding gowns. The designers that I've interviewed are just great but the job itself SUCKS.... and all for only about RM400 (if i'm lucky).

I'd rather be poor.

Please take note next time you read a magazine, that all those interesting looking fashion spreads or whatever didn't just appear out of nowhere. It involves hours and hours of
phone calls
coordination with interviewees
coordination with photographers
coordination with editors
fixing dates
fixing times
re-fixing dates
re-fixing times
loans
returning loans
photo shoots

and maybe, if you're lucky, some vague appearance of writing. Just for 8 pages of something which maybe, looks kind of pretty, but only if you look at it at certain angles, with the light off (because as you know M'sian magazine design is about as sophisticated as a 6-year old's attempt at colouring)

And, considering I take on the job to do WRITING, the rest of the thing pretty much makes me want to cut out my own eyeballs and eat them. It would be far less painful than dealing with this sort of rubbish that really doesn't contribute anything remotely significant in the world.

Really, it would NOT be the end of the world if a bride chose THIS gown, instead of THAT gown.

Man, I'm feeling way too grumpy today.

On the up: Caffeine
On the down: Not being able to sleep

I drank coke halfway through a meeting with Rinpoche tonight and now I'm all bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce-here, bounce-there, bounce everywhere.

Well, it's a nice change, considering how I feel like death in most other teachings when I have to stay awake.

Really, I wonder how Rinpoche does it. He is the ultimate energizer bunny.

Amongst many many many other things tonight, we also decided on the name for our new retreat centre up in the hills (on all 30 acres of land, woooooh!) but but but I dunno if I'm allowed to open my big mouth and tell everyone yet or not so it'll have to wait until Datin tells everybody.

I think I literally have to sew my lips shut so I don't blurt it out.

BUT IT IS JUST SO DAMN SEXY!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like I should write more but there are still sadhanas to do, showers to take and Ben's hyperactive chihuahua just peed in the living room again.

On the up: Taking vows
On the down: Sticking to 'em

In dedication to Rinpoche's long life, especially as he was so ill last year, a few of us took vegetarian vows for a month. (Dedicating or prayer for long life isn't just about long life, but about having the Lama with you for a longer time so he can continue to teach the Dharma and benefit beings)

I also decided to take a vow of no shopping for clothes/shoes/bags/accessories as part of learning the non-attachment thing and dedicated that towards my Lama too. And man, that was harder than the no-meat vow.

Anyway, the vows ended on Wednesday and I have been going mad ever since... which has made me wonder how effective that non-attachment thing was in the first place.

I finally went to pay homage at the doors of Pavillion and knowing that they have BeneFit in Parksons, I headed STRAIGHT there and tried on everything (absolutely the best brand in the whole wide world, ever).

Then I went to buy foundation at Laura Mercier. I went up to the counter and said to them, "I'm very very lazy and I don't like to spend time on ANYTHING. What kind of foundation would you recommend?"

Then they made me sit down and prepped me for like a whole fricking fashion and beauty gala or something.

Like hello, I just want to try some foundation. Can you just put some on my cheek and see how?

But first, she cleaned my eyes four times (because I was wearing some mascara)

Then she stared long and hard at my eyebrows and said, "Your eyebrows.......................!"

I was like "yah yah I know I know, I haven't done them in ages."

Like gee, did I even ASK YOU. Just do your job, yo.

THEN she cleaned my lips twice
THEN she cleaned my face four times
THEN she put on a toning water
THEN she added eye cream
THEN she added a moisturiser
THEN she put a makeup base

AND THEN, after 6 products, she FINALLY put on the foundation.

I kept saying, "Why is it taking so long?! I just want to try the foundation!!"

And she was making up all this crap about how I must protect my face blah blah. If your products are so good and pure and all that, then what do I need protection from?! Just slap it on, gee!

In the meantime, while she was doing an entire facial for me, I was looking at her makeup and thinking how totally salah her mascara was. I was going to buy mascara from BeneFit, but after seeing this lady, I changed my mind. I didn't want to risk looking like that.

After all that though, the foundation rocks so it was worth it. No surprises though, Laura Mercier is supposed to be the queen of foundation.

So I got the makeup stuff out of the way yesterday.... and then today I did a major splurge at Intoxi-Kate. They put up this totally fabulous dress two days after I took the vow so I've been waiting and waiting and waiting until after so I could rush in and buy it.

But you know lah, you can't just buy ONE thing. I saw all this other cute stuff so it had to come home with me too.

So now I feel totally guilty and am wondering if maybe I should take that vow again for another month.

On the up: Short hair
On the down: Not finding a stylist who can cut short hair

I am STILL grieving KL's loss of Mike Lau, the only stylist I have ever come across who has been able to cut short hair so well.

Since he left, I've had to make do with whatever dregs are left in Malaysia.

I've been to so many stylists over the past 10 years who have always managed to botch up when they cut my hair short. Always, I walked out of the salon looking like a rambutan.

But anyway, what can you do right? Recommendations don't work, and neither do walk ins, so I just have to take my changes.

I decided to gamble with a walk-in, into a salon in Sri Hartamas (only because my hair was starting to resemble a hedge and I had to do something about it liao). I asked them for some hair magazines so I could find something to show to the stylist. The minute they bought me the magazines I realised I'd just stepped into Ah Lian heaven.

EVERYTHING WAS SO LALA SUNGEI WANG.

But they had already put the towel and things around me and I was sitting there wondering what the hell to do. Do I stay and get turned into a butch Ah Lian of the wannabe-Japanese type, or do I suddenly develop really thick skin and walk out.

I decided to suck it up and stay. Short hair is short hair, and whatever happens, it will grow out. You never know til you try, right?

This time it turned out half okay. At certain angles it doesn't look entirely like a fruit.

But it's still not MIKE and now I have to wait another two months before it grows out long enough to do something with it.

And so begins the evasive hair stylist search all over again. Perhaps I should just go bald and be done with it.

On the up: Making videos
On the down: Not having a camera or proper editing equipment of my own

Huzzah! After a week of panicking and scratching all the hair out of my head from all that inability to understand AdobePremierPro, I finally finished my video....

It's real amateur OKAY and was my first ever attempt at video thingies, so don't be expecting Ang Lee, Wong Kar Wai type productions.

And I sound so damn mumbly like I'm talking with a mouth full of marshmallows. Someone even left a comment on youtube which said only two words "She's mumbling." Gee. Must learn to e.nun.ci.ate.

So here it is!!! Or go here to see it on YouTube. Go See and leave comments!

On the up: Being busy
On the down: Not having enough time to even poop

I can't remember the last time I blogged. It doesn't feel like that long ago but I think it probably is. All the days just seem like one big long day now.

Last week, I got a message from Rinpoche about making a home video and getting it out within a week.

I was like WHAT. I don't even know how to turn on a bloody camcorder.

But well, they say that with the Guru, all things become possible and they push you to the next level. So one week later, I've filmed, scripted, narrated and edited a whole 23 minutes of video. Rinpoche's well into this rough cut, home video thing... but I think he might change his mind after he sees mine because it reallytrulymadlydeeply is ROUGH cut.


I have to say man, I sure as hell am not gonna take video editors for granted anymore. Everytime their names come up on the credits in movies, I'm gonna stand up and CHEER DAMN LOUD.

I am also trying to train Ben's dogs... who are both really cute but UNBELIEVABLY HYPERACTIVE. It's quite scary how two tiny beings like that could possibly have so much energy.

So I've had to emanate eyes - to edit my video and watch out for two dogs all at the same time. No small feat I can tell you especially when one of them is teeny tiny and can get under the wheels of your wheely desk chair. I swear I think one day I might run my chair over it's neck and squish it to death.

I have ALSO been busy perfecting the art of being a domestic goddess. We got a washing machine and dryer and Ben became my new hero of the day when he fixed it up for me today - like, sooooo 1950s retro. I screamed when he told me that my towels were washed. It was just so immensely exciting to have the option to wash clothes again.

This morning, I woke up early to go to the market to buy breakfast and flowers. Then I came home and arranged all the vases in the house, laid out all the breakfast and curtseyed to my own inner domestic goddess.

Next up: I'd really really love a vacuum cleaner, honey!

I am ALSO now in charge of managing Kechara House's guest house (for foreign guests visiting the centre). Like, okay, what the hell do I know about managing ANYTHING beyond my wardrobe and body lotion collection. Not much, I can assure you. But JP seems to have an immense amount of faith in me and has handed it all over to me on a pink platter "Here you go, darling! Deal!"

So Dolly has to straighted up, buck up and get organised. I am freaking out of course, as is usually the case when I have to do anything Big and Important and which requires more talent than just writing an article.

JP keeps saying, "No don't worry, don't worry, it's very simple waaaan" (of course he's going to say that, he managed a CHAIN of hotels before).

The challenge now is setting in a system so we don't lock anyone out, overbook rooms so people end up sleeping in the pantry, or let someone into a room with a bedsheets that's been eaten through by moths.

So it's all scary cos you know how backwards my head is, but I can be organised if I want to be so damnit I'll make it work! (positive thinking if the way forward)

Okay, so the reason for all this busy-ness.

I got my butt kicked by JP and Joe in the same day. And because it's Joe, you actually THANK him for kicking yout butt. They were both being super diplomatic and genteel and subtle about it but the bottom line is
-I lack self discipline (true, I go off shopping in the middle of the day if I'm not in the mood to work)
- I lack time management (also true, because I always leave everything to the last minute, mainly because I spend the rest of the time shopping in the middle of the day)
- I lack consistency (because sometimes it's not just one day that I take off for shopping but a whole two weeks I take off for Grey's Anatomy marathons, shopping and sitting on the beach).

So see, you can't even be mad at them because they say all this stuff and you're like "Oh. Yah. True hor....*blink blink*"

That means that Dolly is now trying to up her productivity and KEEP IT THAT WAY. Let's see how it lasts!

On the up: Washing machines
On the down: Broken drums

The washing machine that comes with the house doesn't work and it's been a big fat pain in the ass just trying to get Samsung to come fix it. They said it would cost RM400 just to replace the drum (what the hell is the drum?!)

So we're thinking of just getting a new one.

AND I AM THRILLED!

I love doing washing and I just LOVE WASHING MACHINES.

Oh god, I feel so 1950s saying that but seriously, I would be just so very, very happy if someone bought me a top of the range, top loading washing machine for Christmas.

On the up: Squeaky floors
On the down: This low-down feeling

I have been feeling grumpy and petulant for weeks and weeks now, ever since coming back from China. It's like this big giant naughty cloud that keeps bouncing back and forth in my head and won't get out!

ARGGGGGGG

Edna, my car keeps going into the workshop and coming back with new problems. How is it possible that she goes for servicing and comes back with problems that she didn't have before? HOW?! And we pay them heaps of money too so there's no excuse for fucking with Edna.

Then, I went away to the beach last weekend, and developed a nice painful allergic reaction to my sun tan oil so now my arms and neck are all flared up in ugly red splotches like I have an infectious African disease. And it hurts like a crazeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I was in such a big fat bad mood this morning I decided that the only way I could get over it was to clean the whole house. I even called off meeting my favourite KMP people for lunch so I could clean. So I did 16 rounds of mopping - the whole damn house man, including balconies and car porch.

And now the floors -FINALLY- squeak from being clean. I don't know WHAT the previous people did in their kitchen but there's been this enormous layer of grease all over bloody everywhere and it's been driving me absolutely insane.

BUT NOW IT SQUEAKS.

Nothing that obsessive mopping can't solve.

And seriously, I'm so sick to my back teeth of everyone being convinced that I'm not going to survive living out. All the "Oh, now you have to grow up and live on your own" jokes are really starting to get TIRED.

There is nothing here that I hadn't already been doing all those years I was living out in England but everyone seems to think that just because you're a rich bitch, you genetically lack the ability to mop the floor, do laundry and clean dishes.

Take note that I was the only person cleaning the whole damn house when I was living out in England. And I did a bloody good job at it.

And as for the living out thing - while all these little snivelling people with their commets were still living happily at home trying to get through Form 2, I was already punted off to boarding school when I was 13 - where 8 girls shared a room, over 20 girls shared a bathroom, and your housemates took immense JOY out of making your life a living hell.

On top of the general homesickness, the drudgery of homework and trying to adjust to a new school, there were also:
- threats that your roommates would come "get you" in the middle of the night (this could involve anything from them totally wrecking all your stuff, to standing next to your bed and screaming at you, calling you a bitch for 3 hours straight)
- having your stuff stolen
- being laughed in your face just because you walked past

That kind of thing (well at least I wasn't a boy - the 10th grad boys beat up the 8th graders with their rugby boots just for fun when they got bored)

Seriously, don't underestimate just how nasty teenage girls can be to each other. Mean Girls was not just a movie - it happens.

I'll bet you didn't live in total fear that you'd literally get bitch slapped by your housemates during your first experience of living away from home so you can keep your pathetic little "oh now you have to grow up and live out" comments to yourself, thank you very much.

So. I know you already hate me because I am intelligent, good at the work that I do, rich, and don't have to slog in a normal job like you have to to pay the rent, but I thought that you should know that on top of all that, I ALSO have the ability
-to sweep and mop until the tiles squeak when you walk
-vacuum hard-to-reach places
-wash dishes endlessly (in fact, I LIKE IT)
-do laundry (I also love this)
-and cook a damn good meal

If you hate me because I lived a charmed, fabulous and perfect life, that's your problem not mine! :)