On the up: Squeaky floors
On the down: This low-down feeling

I have been feeling grumpy and petulant for weeks and weeks now, ever since coming back from China. It's like this big giant naughty cloud that keeps bouncing back and forth in my head and won't get out!

ARGGGGGGG

Edna, my car keeps going into the workshop and coming back with new problems. How is it possible that she goes for servicing and comes back with problems that she didn't have before? HOW?! And we pay them heaps of money too so there's no excuse for fucking with Edna.

Then, I went away to the beach last weekend, and developed a nice painful allergic reaction to my sun tan oil so now my arms and neck are all flared up in ugly red splotches like I have an infectious African disease. And it hurts like a crazeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I was in such a big fat bad mood this morning I decided that the only way I could get over it was to clean the whole house. I even called off meeting my favourite KMP people for lunch so I could clean. So I did 16 rounds of mopping - the whole damn house man, including balconies and car porch.

And now the floors -FINALLY- squeak from being clean. I don't know WHAT the previous people did in their kitchen but there's been this enormous layer of grease all over bloody everywhere and it's been driving me absolutely insane.

BUT NOW IT SQUEAKS.

Nothing that obsessive mopping can't solve.

And seriously, I'm so sick to my back teeth of everyone being convinced that I'm not going to survive living out. All the "Oh, now you have to grow up and live on your own" jokes are really starting to get TIRED.

There is nothing here that I hadn't already been doing all those years I was living out in England but everyone seems to think that just because you're a rich bitch, you genetically lack the ability to mop the floor, do laundry and clean dishes.

Take note that I was the only person cleaning the whole damn house when I was living out in England. And I did a bloody good job at it.

And as for the living out thing - while all these little snivelling people with their commets were still living happily at home trying to get through Form 2, I was already punted off to boarding school when I was 13 - where 8 girls shared a room, over 20 girls shared a bathroom, and your housemates took immense JOY out of making your life a living hell.

On top of the general homesickness, the drudgery of homework and trying to adjust to a new school, there were also:
- threats that your roommates would come "get you" in the middle of the night (this could involve anything from them totally wrecking all your stuff, to standing next to your bed and screaming at you, calling you a bitch for 3 hours straight)
- having your stuff stolen
- being laughed in your face just because you walked past

That kind of thing (well at least I wasn't a boy - the 10th grad boys beat up the 8th graders with their rugby boots just for fun when they got bored)

Seriously, don't underestimate just how nasty teenage girls can be to each other. Mean Girls was not just a movie - it happens.

I'll bet you didn't live in total fear that you'd literally get bitch slapped by your housemates during your first experience of living away from home so you can keep your pathetic little "oh now you have to grow up and live out" comments to yourself, thank you very much.

So. I know you already hate me because I am intelligent, good at the work that I do, rich, and don't have to slog in a normal job like you have to to pay the rent, but I thought that you should know that on top of all that, I ALSO have the ability
-to sweep and mop until the tiles squeak when you walk
-vacuum hard-to-reach places
-wash dishes endlessly (in fact, I LIKE IT)
-do laundry (I also love this)
-and cook a damn good meal

If you hate me because I lived a charmed, fabulous and perfect life, that's your problem not mine! :)