On the up: Sleep
On the down: No sleep


I want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!


But okay, shut up already and stop complaining.

Look at how horridly haggard JP looks these days, and realise that you have more than your fair share of zzzzs already!

On the up: Peace
On the down: Being hungry!

Okay, so there is peace once again in Dolly's head and world - nice when there is reorder in the world again.

Had a most most most most most splendid Christmas party on Sunday and a premier of my reality show huzzah! Everyone loved it - I mean, of course, what's not to love!

And I did manage to shock everyone a little bit with my outfit - it was so not me!

Now I've decided to take the 8 precepts in dedication of Rinpoche's health and I know I shouldn't bitch about it but but but I sooo can't do this one vegetarian meal a day thing. I SO just WANT TO EAT FRIED CHICKEN and pepperoni pizza and char siu rice and steak!

My mother said, "Is this forever?"

Oh my god, I know I'm trying to be schmoly but I'm really not a nun yet!

This also means no turkey this Christmas which made me grumpy for about 5 seconds then I thought, well heck, there'll be other Christmasses but there aren't other Rinpoches! And when he's as ill as he was earlier this week, I'll give up the turkey man! And the fried chicken, the pepperoni pizza, the char siu and the steak.

And try to stop being a bitch.

And never, ever complain again about work.

Just please get well Rinpoche! love love love

On the up: Knickers
On the down: Uncomfy pants

I did something which merits a big confession on dollyblog - I did a huge, enormous shop today and now I feel slightly guilty.

I'm going through one of those phases where I just want to wear cotton knickers all the time. None of that fancy stuff anymore - just good, old plain Marks and Sparks, which don't itch, don't scratch, don't ride up in the wrong places. So today I raided M&S and La Senza for KNICKERS! A early christmas present - aren't I so very adventurous when it comes to presents.

Thing is though, M&S only had all these pastel colours. My underwear staples are blacks, whites, reds and pinks so all the light blue and yellow and (YUCK YUCK double YUCK) flesh coloured knickers caused a big dilemma.

SOME MORE, as if the selection here isn't tiny enough, 80% of the tiny selection was all prints and that is just so not on. There's nothing uncooler than bending over and seeing that someone is wearing multicoloured polka dotted knickers, or some horrid print with flowers and butterflies. It's okay if you're about 6 but otherwise it's just naf.

Then I got bedroom slippers and new, cosy pyjammys - I'm all set to just live in my bedroom forever and ever!

Also, as we're having a premier for my new reality show (whee! as if that isn't going to blow up my ego more), I decided I MUST have a new outfit. I'm sure everyone is expecting me to turn up looking like a strawberry (various shades of pink and red) and decked out in something revealing and inappropriate as usual.

BUT HAH!
I shall shock them. My outfit is just so unlike me I even shocked myself.

On the up: 3 days in Gaden
On the down: Coming back to earth *plop*

This post is really overdue but then again, it's always a perfect time to read and write about Gaden. I'm also feeling grumpy, so this is very timely for keeping the nerves in check. Who needs prozac when you have Gaden.

Tsongkhapa is a dude - he really knew what he was talking about when he named the monastery Gaden (as in, the Heaven) because it really feels like a whole different other world. All you need are cloud cars, and you could mistake it for carebear land. It's full of magic!

We were there for 3 1/2 days to make offerings to the Sangha (KH raised heaps of cash for their hospital), obtain forewords from the high lamas for KMP's new books and to conduct interviews with the sangha for Rinpoche's biography.

It was just

amazing

amazing

amazing

amazing
amazing
amazing
amazing

amazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing
*zing*

and I never wanted to leave.

When I came back, I spent the next week moping about being depressed about being thrown back to earth... then realised that hey, neither the care bears nor the Bodhisattvas get depressed about being in samsara.


SNAP OUT OF IT ALREADY!


I think it's the only place I have ever been to where I never thought once about wanting to go home. YekYee was totally amazed that I never complained once.


Seriously, all the old lamas there look like Yoda. Yoda is a Buddha, and don't you forget it. If you ever get to meet Kensur Konchok Tsering Rinpoche (the abbot emeritus), you will agree with me that yoda exists for real.


Pictures speak 1000 words and blah blah so here's some of my best

At a Kalarupa puja, complete with ritual instruments, like drums, cymbals and thighbone trumpets. It's absolutely spectacular and the whole prayer hall reverberates with energy when pujas are in progress.

At an (early!) morning debate session. Because the Gelugpra tradition places a stron emphasis on study, debate sessions are held twice daily for the monks to discuss and strengthen what is learnt in teachings and through scriptures. One person takes the position as a Buddhist, and another as an opponent to Buddhism, and they debate it all out until they get a thorough understanding of all topics.

We got to mooch around the monastery for four days and see how the monks live, eat, work, pray. I love all these in-the-moment photos of the monks just hanging out, being, well, monks! For them, it's like they're just being "normal;" for us, it's like a whole paradise of 3000 people straight on their way to enlightenment. See!

On the up: Rihanna
On the down: Complaining

I have realised of late that I
absolutely
absolutely
absolutely

MUST stop complaining.

If not, I'm going to turn into one of those horrible old spinsters that lives in a shoe and everybody avoids.

And so, over the last two weeks or so, I've developed a brand new motto for life: to just shut up and drive. (Yes, yes, just like the Rihanna song - see she doesn't just have a fantastic wardrobe but also carries a great life philosophy without even knowing it).

On the up: Baked potatoes
On the down: Rotten spuds

This how I am NOT a domestic goddess:

I bought a bag of potatoes a very long time ago, stuck them in a cupboard and forgot all about it.

Today, I opened up the cupboard and wondered what died in there because it smelled just
SO
DAMN
AWFUL.

It was my potatoes of course, which had all turned into juice.

So I spend the next half an hour just scrubbing out the godawful horrendous rotten potatoe-y smell.

You know how when you're a kid, they say, "Last one to the finish line is a rotten potato!" Well, now I know what that really means, and heck I'm NEVER going to be last because I sure don't want to smell like THAT.

I think all my complaining about the way that Drakpa house smells has caught up with me. Karma smacked me back in the face - "see, after all the complaining, the WORST smell this house has seen was caused by you. So shut up already."

On the up: Quiet time
On the down: Meetings

Oh my god, the last two weeks have just felt like one very, very long day.

Add to that the horrible haze which has made my eyes itch and swell like balloons and a big fat sinus revival and I am just a regular ball of misery.

Still, I am feeling like a very happy little dolly at the moment!

The busy-ness doesn't stop but it's a nice kind of busy. I told an old old old school friend over MSN that I'm really enjoying being busy and he called me a traitor to the world of slackers (we were big time partners of slacker-dom way back when, but times have changed and well, even my laziness can be impermanent, it seems!).

I have to say, if it was for any other job in any other crappy worldly rubbish, I would be swearing away and crying like a real Tamil movie heroine, but I'm feeling just so damn happy to be doing all this crazy Dharma stuff.

It's like non stop
go
go
go
go
go
go
go

Tsem Rinpoche trains you up to be a Duracel Bunny and it's quite nice to feel productive for a change.