Birthday Dolly

On the up: His Holiness 14th Dalai Lama
On the down: Scum like me

It's been a whole big fabulous week of retreats. I didn't think I'd EVER say this but I have just totally loved it. It's been like a real proper Hogwarts - everyone zooming in on their BMWs and Mercedes Sports (okay, well, only Datin zooms in on that) and shiny new Myvis and doing retreat prayers together.

We managed one million mantras in two evenings!

There's been Kechara House/ retreat centre pujas and KMP pujas so I feel like the holiest little dakini in the world now. There's been prayers every day this past week - morning prayers, evening prayers, in between prayers and trying to be a really little goodie goodie tootsie-roll the rest of the time.

Everything culminated in a wonderful big open lama chopa puja tonight, which is a prayer session that is done towards ALLLLLLLL the Buddhas out there in the big vast enormous universe. It absolutely calls for being on one's best behaviour. You shut your eyes real hard and you pray hard and you think of all the wonderful things you want to accomplish. You will world peace into existence!

So I was all that. Good little compassionate me.

Then right after the prayer, someone came by and pissed me off. Well actually, they didn't really do anything to directly piss me off but all the forever-and-ever pent up pissed-off-ness from forever-and-ever all came out *bang* and I magically turned back into a bitch.

So I spewed out a whole lot of bitchiness, loud enough I'm sure that the Buddha sitting in the furthest corner of the big vast enormous universe could have heard.

All that, RIGHT after I'd just sat there and listened to Rinpoche talk about transforming our minds towards kindness, after I'd recited verses and verses and verses of HOLY prayers, after A WHOLE WEEK of being a little angel.

Obviously, this isn't anyone's fault but my own (not even that person) so I'm feeling very guilty now. Even my croonies, who doesn't like that person either were very disappointed in me for being such a monster.

OM om om om om om OM

I'm going to do a protector puja now to atone for the nastiness though I think that the protectors will be more like to club me with their cudgels than to send me rainbow rays of sympathy.

Lambasted Part 2

He has since removed EVERYTHING from his YouTube profile .... which as far as I'm concerned only goes to prove that it really was him and he really is guilty of posting such immature comments.

What a fucking coward.

Lambasted Dolly

On the up: Feedback
On the down: Stupid people

Oh dear! This is rather funny.

After this was posted on YouTube, someone posted a really low blow smitchy (and rather irrelevant) comment about my bad fashion sense and my bad hair cut.

So, because I have a little bit of a brain, I decided to go investigate. You see, it's very easy these days what with hyperlinks and clicking on them with a mouse to get to someone's profile.

Then, because I went to school and got a degree and all that, I am somehow able to put two and two together, and figure out within all of 15 seconds that it was Ben (yes, that one - and you all know who!).

Honestly, the only thing worse than posting negative comments (which by the way, don't seem to have anything to do with the topic of the video itself) is being too gormless to even
do it properly without being identified.

Yes yes, I do have a bad haircut (and it's actually even worse now after another cut but hey, it's just hair, it'll grow back) and yes, on second thought, the orange wrap looks a bit like a bad stocking.

But then again, the video isn't about my bad fashion sense (which has already been established long ago) but about KSK. So really, I don't care if I look like Quasimodo's elder sister, as long the message gets out there.

Honestly, if someone's going to be insulting, they should at least do it with a bit more intelligence and creativity!

Retreat Dolly

On the up: Retreats
On the down: Falling asleep during mantra recitation

This is a whole big fat week of pujas, non stop. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. I don't think I've ever recited so many prayers my whole life - I'll be creating about as much merit this week as I have in the past 10 lifetimes.

Anyway, I surprise myself because I'm just loving it so much.

We've been doing a massive Black Manjushri retreat with over 100 people aiming to complete 1 million mantras. We're already more than halfway through, after only one session so everybody is feeling mighty smug about themselves. (I do wonder, however, if I would be quite so excited if I was assigned to do all those 1 million all by myself; it's very exciting and fun and easy peasy lemon squeezy when there's over 100 other people doing it with to finish it within a week).

KMP's also doing a whole set of its own mini pujas for our new building, so there's been those slotted in between the Black Manjushri sessions.

I feel like the holiest person in the world. I have a halo coming out of head.... in fact, TWO halos, one coming out from each ear!

Anyway I'm knackered, off to bed zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (the added bonus of pujas is that it gives you tons of energy so you don't have to sleep OR when you do sleep, it's the most wonderful sleep you'd ever had zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Anal Retentive Dolly

On the up: Grammar
On the down: Bad grammar!!!!

I don't think I know anyone else as anally retentive about grammar as I am.

Yesterday, I was chucking a wobble at someone over MSN about bad, sloppy work (again). I was getting so wound up and irritated that I finally said, "I don't want to talk to you anymore. Goodbye."

I left to go celebrate Joe's birthday (chocolate birthday cake is a much happier way of dealing with the stresses of incompetent staff).

When I came back a few hours later, there was a reply, which said, "So do I" which made me irritated all over again.

"So do I", complete with all its immaturity and rudeness of talking is bad enough. But I think what really got my goat was the horrible, incorrect phrasing of "So do I" (when really it should have been "Neither do I"). I think that irritated me more than all the sloppy work, the irresponsibility, the carelessness and the rudeness put together.


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