On the up: Being awake
On the down: Falling asleep (very often)

It's been feeling a bit like spiritual boot camp lately what with the strange (though adrenaline-fuelled and enlightening) irregular nights and hanging out with the Buddhas all day long. Other things are starting to feel a bit mundane. Meh.

There was the Bangkok trip but that is going to be a really really long post because there was so much that happened in 3 days. When you're travelling with a Rinpoche, it's not likely you'll sleep much, but that's the whole point, isn't it!

Got back on Saturday and on Sunday (yesterday), Joe had scheduled another meeting

*stabs him in the head when he's not looking*

Okay, no lar, not so violent. Rinpoche's long time mentor from his early early early days in Thubten Dargye Ling centre in LA is in KL for three weeks, and the writers were invited over to spend the evening with Rinpoche and Mamie - sort of reunion thing lah.

Oh my god. Mamie is a walking diary. She remembers absolutely EVERYTHING and has more stories inside her little head than all the bookshelves of all the children in the whole entire world.

And now, SHE is the ultimate zen high priestess. She's just all trippy and happy and fun and nothing ruffles her feathers. She's like a walking Dharma dolly and she has plenty to tell and breathe.

I just wish I wasn't half asleep from trying to recover from BKK and the past two weeks of non-sleep.

By 3am, Mamie went off to bed but we all stayed downstairs talking to Rinpoche about all sorts of fantastic stuff (and I mean "fantastic" in that 19th century sort of way where it's all about things Not Of This Realm).

Got lots of my nigglybiggly questions about practice and yidams (meditational deities) answered and we all turned a slightly sick shade of green hearing about JP being oh-so-soooo Vajrayogini and getting the hell out of samsara faster than the rest of us (Okay, not really. No envy, no jealousy, I promise. I'm veeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrry happy-smappy for him and the new plan is to hang around more so the positivity might rub off).

Weird though, how your mind does all this strange shit to you. Like how I was sitting there thinking, "Damnit why don't *I* get to be special and have Vajrayogini practice toooooooooooooooo? *cry ego ego ego cry*"

Then mentally smacked myself because hey, trust that your Lama knows what will or won't suit your path best lah, you stoopid hollow bell.

Isn't it disturbing how all this ego just sort sticks up its knobbly hand and waves insanely when you actually think you're all floating on a lotus cloud, all compassion and ego-free... But maybe sometimes the doubt can be good though because it makes you think properly instead of just going completely agro and/or doing things totally blind???

Anyway, during one of the breaks when we got up to stretch legs and eat cake in the kitchen, I WhisperWhispered to JP so the Buddhas couldn't hear, "So you think we're going to be here until 11am again hahahahaha" And he just gave me this look.

By 6am, Rinpoche showed no signs of flagging. You know what, like JJ said so puuurfectly, "They don't call them the AWAKENED ones for nothing!" I swear, Rinpoche is the energiser bunny, except even the energiser bunny runs out of batteries at some point and Rinpoche NEVER.

Anyway, at 6ish, he said, "Okay folks, big bad Rinpoche is going upstairs to do his sadhana now!"

Okay, I confess, though I LoveLoveLove being around Rinpoche and getting all these amazing teachings, a little evil exhausted part of me thought, "Oh yay. Pillow!!! Enfin!"

7 hours later, we were still there.

Sharon had to leave early.
Then Susan had to leave early.
Then Ben had to leave early.

I could have left with them but then thought I didn't have to go for anything so had no "excuse" to leave really and thought it owuld be rude in the face of Enlightenment. Anyway, I was kiasugreedy and didn't want to miss out. So brave me stayed, oh-so-unattached-to-sleep.

Ommm...

Of course, pick games again. This time some real gems.

Joe got to pick:
- Go up to Gaden Tri Rinpoche (the highest ranking person in the Gelugpa school of Tibetan Buddhism, and the only other person in the entire Tibetan Buddhist tradition that can replace the Dalai Lama for teachings) and punch him, put it up on YouTube and say how much you hate him.
OR
-Marry JP in Australia, and you have to be Mrs. JP.

JP got lots of Bill Keith picks again. Many, many, many variations on:
Have sex with Bill Keith or all the animals in zoo negara?

Ben got:
Perform the 64 arts of love with Bill Keith in front of your mother
OR
Go to Tianamen Square in broad daylight, with a Falungong tshirt and vandalise Chairman Mao's picture.

At some point, JP asked, "Why don't you ask Paris?!"

Rinpoche said, "Paris? Because she's not resistant. She's like, whatever!"

haha!

I asked Rinpoche in Bangkok why pick games were always horrible options. "Like, why don't we ever get to pick between two really, really nice things for a change?!"

He said, "Because it's about getting rid of your attachments and hang ups. Those options aren't disgusting on their side. They're disgusting because you think they're disgusting. So I'll keep giving you those things as options until you stop being hung up about not liking them."

Also, the deal with the pick game is that if you don't pick one, you have to have both, so having two good things doesn't work, of course.

I guess it's not just torture then. It's a big fat lesson to get over yourself!

I still totally utterly completely dislike You Know Who though (okay, *some* of you know but I will show face a bit by not publishing his name in black&white).

As it started to get really bright through the windows, Rinpoche was talking to JP again about spiritual responsibilities, where he hopes to take us all in our paths and how he's training us up to take the hard stuff later.

He said, "Why do you think I invite you out to hang out and spend all this time at weird hours together?"

By then I was really feeling like old lettuce, all soggy and brown round the edges. I thought, "Well, gee, good for JP but what the hell am *I* doing here still?!"

Then right then, he said to JP, "And why do you think we've got Paris here? It's definitely not to look at her clothes!"

Oh dear. You mean, it's going to get tougher in the future!! (why else the "training?")

At 7ish, Mamie had woken up, came down for breakfast and started telling heaps of stories again. My head was really getting all *FUZZ* and soon everything just started to sound like random white noise.

I was trying to concentrate. I WAS! But she kept blurring out into a distant blob and everything she was saying started to sound like how a TV sounds when you fall asleep in the living room. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Everyone had left by then and Rinpoche had started doing his sadhana so it was really up to me, JP and YekYee to pay attention and engage. Thank god for JP and his Eyes Like Teacups, which makes him look more awake than the average person at any given time.

Finally, at 1pm. Rinpoche jumped off his seat and announced, "Okay Mamie! I'm going to sleep now. Bye bye!" and disappeared as quickly as the night had been long.

*Blink* He was gone.

Labels: Rinpoche, Vajrayogini