Singaporean Dolly


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On the up: Rachael Yamagata
On the down: Imperfect stalking methods

Finally, my Singapore story:

Being such ardent, want-to-stalk-her fans, Miin and I tripped down to Singapore for Rachael Yamagata's concert. (And if you don't know who she is and haven't got her album, I'm afraid I might have to rethink my friendship with you).

Singapore makes me totally depressed. It's like an Asian Pleasantville and everything is so damn perfect and neat and orderly and straight-and-narrow it makes me want to cry.

The whole trip, Miin and I kept going, "Oh my god, this-and-this is so damn nice here, not like how back home it's like that-and-that-and-crap"
But despite all that, we still decided we wouldn't want to live in Singapore, even if you paid us. We need a bit of chaos and in Singapore there is absolutely none of that, and everybody looks like they're walking around with a broomstick up their arse.

Anyway, we got to go to the Esplanade for the first time which is very pretty and very arty but made us feel uncomfortable because it was just so perfect. Maybe that just shows that our standards have dropped? In an attempt to not spend any money and just because we didn't feel like hanging out with all the plebs downtown, we spent the whole weekend in the City Hall which got boring very quickly.

But never mind, we were there to see Rachael so I suppose anything else would have seemed trite in comparison.

We got great seats for the concert and were just Such Excited Little Fans. They said no cameras because they're anal like that but we snuck a few anyway :p

Rachael is just so damn fabulous onthepiano, onherguitar, and singing


... and she has a great band with a totally hot drummer

She was wearing this really bizarre non descript sort of outfit though, which made her look about 50 years older than she actually is. But okay never mind, she is still sublime and fantastic and has this great big messy unbrushed hair.

Since her relationships seem to be so seriously messed up, she should SO start thinking about women instead. Miin and I would so be lesbians just for Rachael. She's just completely cute!

The set was horribly short though because Singaporeans are ANAL and only let her have an hour (Tokyo Ska Orchestra were on after her, and apparently they needed a TON of time to set it up).

AND RACHAEL DIDN'T SING I WANT YOU. I waited the whole damn night for that song. No actually, I waited for months for that song, since I bought the ticket. It is absolutely the best psycho obsessed song EVER in this really I'm-so-in-love-with-you-I-might-quietly-kill-you kind of way.

Anyway, she has this great sense of humour and was totally rude on stage in a way that would have probably got the Singaporean censorship Very Het Up Indeed.

And she sang a song from her new album that authorises Being Obsessed. See, Rachael Yamagata says it's perfectly fine to be obsessive so I'm going to take advice that to heart since I get so easily obssessed about everything and everyone and then worry about being too obsessive.

Afterwards, there was an autograph signing session so Miin and I traipsed along like Brownies to join the Most Enormous Line. It was like every single HDB flat emptied out its teenagers and they ended up at the Esplanade for Rachael's concert and autography.


This is only about a quarter of the bloody line. Absolutely No-End-In-Sight


We came up with the most fantastic elaborate story to try to get ourselves to the front of the line. Something about how we prostrated for days from KL to Singapore just to see Rachael Yamagata, and how we so so so want to buy her some hot chocolate. We'd saved for MONTHS for this because we work a job that only pays us RM80 a month, and we live in a shoebox and support about 15 relatives with our meagre salary. We told each other the story so many times we almost started to believe it.

Anyway, some security people eventually came up and told us that "the artist will be leaving exactly at 10pm." It was 9.45 and we had only moved about 3 feet so we decided to call it quits and go for hot chocolate instead.

Then later we found out that she stayed real late, until she had given an autograph to everyone.

We are such crap stalkers.

We were GUTTED!

Then, we went for some of the worst hawker food I have ever eaten. They charged us S$8 for a plate of broccoli which is just totally wrong, and the carrot cake in Singapore is NOT carrot cake.

After dindin, I said to Miin, "You know, when you eat in Singapore, it's like you get really full but you're totally irritated because the meal tasted like crap." No wonder Singaporeans look so damn unhappy all the time.

Anyway. Weekend well spent. And I didn't buy a single item of clothing that whole weekend! *So Very Proud* (I'm saving the money for when I go in May and have a massive splurge then instead, hah!)

But hey, two days were well enough. By Saturday night, after the concert we were pissing and moaning at each other, "I'm bored now. I want to go home."

When we finally did get home on Sunday, Miin and I were never so happy to see disorganised roads and falling-apart-buildings again.

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