On the up: KLILF
On the down: Un-literary people

Spent two and a half days languishing at the KL International Literary Festival, pretending to be intellectual again.

Am I just being a snob or did people at the festival just not get the point of it?!

Went to a session with journalist Conor O'Cleary on writing biographies. He's writing something on Chuck Feeney, one of the world's richest men who has decided to give all his wealth away to charities.

Anyway, the session was about writing biographies, right? So I thought that what we'd discuss. I was rajin-ly asking all these writerly questions about the voice of the biography, and how to remain authentic in writing, and fictionality-versus-accuracy etc etc for the purposes of my own writing and because it's about "writing biographies," damnit, so shouldn't it be about that?

Other people were asking questions like:

"Was Chuck Feeney poor when he was young?"
"How did he decide which charities to give his money to?"

and the best question, following an excerpt that was read out from the prologue of the biography:

"I'm just wondering if the weather is always that bad in Honolulu?"

*slap*

Later, I went to a session with Dina Zaman, who was discussing her new book, I am Muslim. I'm not well-versed in local lit (mainly because I'm too damn lazy to keep abreast and because I'm still stuck on trying to finish my infinite list of Classics-I-Must-Read-Before-I'm-30) but Dina's book is a hoot and really quite daring.

Anyway, she read out a chapter from her book which was all about sex. So funny, but apparently, So Very Shocking for older people in the audience.

What followed was poor Dina being interrogated by this old biddy about what it meant to lose your virginity
And why had Dina placed so much importance on sex?
And does she always write about sex?
And why does she use sex so much to define Muslims Nowadays?

Gee, it was only ONE chapter out of a whole book. Dina said, "You'll notice, if you read the rest of the book that I do talk about a lot of other things other than sex." But that lady seemed to have got it into her mind that Dina was just some slutty trash mouth. Actually, with all her questions, it was starting to look like the old woman was more obsessed about sex than anyone else was.

I also went to see Benjamin Zephaniah whose stuff is JUST FANTASTIC. Poetry never seemed so alive.

I did my pompous writerly thing again and asked a pompous writerly question. (I was writing a feature on the festival so I had to go ask some semi-intelligent questions to get fodder.) As a very try-hard, wannabe writer, there were many things I wanted to know anyway, so when I asked the questions, I actually wanted to know the answers.

So I asked Benjamin a question, and just as he was answering the question (and I started jotting down notes), this absurd little batty 70-year-old German lady sitting across me, started asking me random questions.

Benjamin was looking at me while he was answering my question, but then saw me half-engaged in this conversation with this German lady, and soon the whole entire room was looking at me and the Frau. I was trying to gesture to her that Benjamin was answering my question and that I would answer her later but she was a persistent little old dame. She kept right on talking and talking, completely oblivious to the fact that I had just asked a question and Benjamin was trying to answer...

and since I didn't want to seem rude, I pretended to listen to her, while also trying to listen to Benjamin's answer, while also taking notes for the article, while also trying to look like I was NOT starting up my own conversation and being rude to Benjamin.

*fail*

Man, you meet some odd sorts when you go to these sorts of things.

Went to Tash Aw's session too and he
is
just
so
damn
beautiful

and speaks in a wonderful British way
and writes!
and has great clothes
and is well versed in literature
and can deconstruct Nabokov like its second nature
and has won book awards
and is small, fair and hairless
and went to UEA (famous for its creative writing course)

I'm in love!

Thing about the arty types: I remember how the boys in our english department at uni were either incredibly beautiful or totally gross.

After graduation, it seems that all the incredibly beautiful boys just sort of disappear into a vacuum, only to reappear in literary festivals when they're already very famous and unattainable. Pish. We'll just have to settle with the remaining dregs.

(I have to say though, I've been quite good about not blogging about boys for awhile cos there's been so much else going on. Kennie was right about how being really busy with work etc makes you stop thinking about sex!)