On the up: Being busy
On the down: Lizards!!

I think I really have to stop eating in my bedroom because now the lizards got wind of biscuit crumbs and have come a-visiting.

I HATE LIZARDS!!!!!!!!

Am so afraid they will all come out in a huge force and attack me when I'm sleeping at night and what if one crawls up my face and into my mouth and I SWALLOW it in my sleep.

*so paranoid*

The one thing that puts me off joining something like the Amazing Race is if there were tasks that involved frogs and lizards.

It's like that evil game that Rinpoche makes us play: PICK: Touch frog, or do 27 hours of transcripts.

I PICK THE TRANSCRIPTS.

I have done work alll day today and I even deliberately chose NOT to go for drinks so I could sit at home and fight with my misbehaving scratchy DVD player to get a transcript done *done*

In any case, the event was yet another event for gay boys to meet other gay boys so it's just as well I missed it anyway - I would have just been taking up space!

BB keeps reminding me that I am a gay man in a woman's body. He goes, "Oh my god. You're not just a man.... you're a gay man" but he says it like it's a compliment so I don't know whether to be pleased by it or not.

Then JJ kept pointing out to me many times today that I am actually a gay man. He even sends me SMSes about it to remind me. SO need to get out of this gay circle and get a bloody straight life!! All I can think of to call myself these days is Token Straight Girl because that's really what I seem to be in every circle I end up in.

Here is a sample of the kind of rubbish that goes through my mind and screws with my fickle little pretty head. Was talking to BB online the other night and it went something like this:
nb: xxx is someone I work with

Token Straight Girl says:
u know what
Token Straight Girl says:
i'm starting to think XXX is quite cute too
Token Straight Girl says:
I AM SO EASILY IMPRESSED!
Phoenix says:
hormones
Phoenix says:
XXX is cute wat
Phoenix says:
i means he's gay, that already is 30% of your interest haha
Token Straight Girl says:
ew i SOOOOOOOOO did not want to fancy him
Token Straight Girl says:
but then i had this weird dream about him (nb. it's not who you think it is - I keep having dreams about all sorts of random people!)
Token Straight Girl says:
and it has screwed with my head!
Phoenix says:
your trend these days: first they irritate you
Phoenix says:
then you fight
Phoenix says:
then you "Click"
Phoenix says:
its soooo Mills and Boons, Joahanna Lindsay books


I am a Mills and Boons novel *hits rock bottom*

I'm not even really looking for some big hunky hot straight guy to pluck me off my nice little virginal pedestal (hah). But I think that you start turning into the people you hang out with (like me, straightish 100%girl-that's-not-even-slightly-a-haemaphrodite turning into 95% gay man) then it is time to take a break!

Oh but wait... William Kee just invited me to a party on Thursday where he will be mixing PINK DRINKS. How NOT to gooooo?