On the up: The fashion world
On the down: Being a dumbass

Why does it seem that the whole of KL is filled with Penang people who have suddenly all run away for the CNY? I think I can count the number of people I know who are from KL on one hand! It's like the whole entire little island has transported itself into KL - absolutely e-ver-ree-boh-dee I know is from Penang, and they've all sodded off back home so now I have no friends left for the holidays :( Poor lonely Dolly.

Anyway, just before the city goes to sleep under red lanterns, drunk from too many oranges, I was asked to cover a behind-the-scenes story on a cover shoot for a Very Fabulous Magazine.

So I dragged myself out of bed today after a mere four hours of sleep and drove my clever self to the studio at Jalan Imbi, proceeded to get very lost and pissed off lots of cars from my slowing-down-and-staring type of female-driving.

I got there in time to see the cover girl being made up and dolled by a Very Diligent Makeup Artist. Turns out that the cover girl was Somebody Famous but I had no idea who she was, not even after they told me who her name was. Like, damn. I wouldn't know a celebrity if they came up and slapped me.

The dress they used was fantastically couture and had heaps of organza and netting which always just makes me
want
to
scream
and
jump around
and twirl.

I didn't get to wear it of course and probably couldn't get into it even if I wanted to.

Somebody Famous looked amazing in it though and the dress gave her super cleavage which made me very jealous for What I Cannot Have. And the pictures were just so. damn. good. Who needs Vogue when you can have front covers like this one!
So fun.
So fancy.
So gorgeous.
So indulgent.
So pretty.
So fashion.
So froufroulala.
So statement.

I was so not in an interviewy mood having had not enough sleep and feeling flustered from the heat and traffic. But the Celebrity Stylish was ever charming and had lots of very clever and exciting things to say which made it very easy for me not to have to ask any questions.

When I tried to speak to the makeup artist he just didn't want to entertain my questions because he was trying to perfect eyeshadow colours and all I kept doing was ask him silly things about beauty trends. He just looked at me really exasperated, and said, "For me, it's about making her beautiful." Like, d'oh.

In between, there was a photographer going around taking random photos of everything going on Behind The Scenes.... which means there is now a memory card somewhere in KL with really UGLY photos of me. I grabbed whatever the first things I saw lying about this morning, wore the ugly set of glasses that make me look like an outdated hippie, and didn't bother with hair wax - so I looked about as appealing as an old makeup brush.

SO not the sort of look to turn up in for a morning with a fashion stylish, a fashion editor, a fashion designer, a makeup artist, several very important people in the fashiony world and a gorgeous celebrity that would equally as good in a couture dress as she would in a paper bag.

And there are now photos to document the comparative ugliness of it all.

There was a big red couch in the studio so after I had dogged and harrassed everyone with my fascinating and highly intellectual questions, I decided I would go sit and wait and talk to the stylist's very interesting manager while they were shooting Somebody Famous. I think it's the very same couch that I have back at home (Ikea lah, can be found everywhere) so I got really comfortable, took off my slippers, crossed my legs up and tried to talk myself into staying awake.

Then it was time to go so I pulled myself off the couch, waved to everyone, got kissed (on both two) by important people and left.

As I was circling through that immense constipation that plagues the Imbi area, the Celebrity Stylist called me and said, "My deaarrr... you forgot to interview the photographer. And he's the most important person because without him there wouldn't even be a bloody photograph!"

Uh oh.

THE BIG FAT SHAME. Just oh-so-not-professional.

I said, stupidly, "Oh.... yah hor..." which of course just made me sound even more stoopid. I'm such a dumbass I couldn't even find something good to say to cover my own ass. I just guilelessly confessed to my Big Fat Shaming Error.

Celebrity Stylist was wonderfully sympathetic though and said he would send me over the photographer's number so I could speak to him by phone. But still...
the
shame!

My brains have obviously gone on holiday before the rest of me has.