On the up: Being blissfully self-involved
On the down: Being self conscious

All these things happened in the span of 4 hours last night that made me feel like Eve with a fig leaf. *Cover up and blush!*

JP said my blog entries now aren't as good as they were before because apparently I'm being more self-conscious and censoring myself now.

Being the neurotic, worried, paranoid sort of person I am, I decided to go read things I wrote From Before... and really don't think there's any difference.

So he can fuck off lah.

Went to a Dharma talk last night and one of JP's friends, Gary came. The first time he met me at karaoke a few weeks back, Gary thought I was a man, and I know I'm supposed to be non attached and peace loving
but it's so irritating and
I
can't
let
it
go.

I wanted to go smack him and say "I heard you thought I was a man" but didn't get a chance to because he came late and left early and sat on the other side of the room from me.

Halfway through the talk, Rinpoche started talking about JP, and said, "JP's great, he dresses well, he speaks well, he's organised, he presents himself well and Paris was in love with him for four weeks (but she's over it now)."

So now like, EVERYBODY knows. Geeeeez. (Chin Li said I am very obvious when I crush on someone though *shame* like, I can't even stalk people in a classy, subtle, modest way).

Before, (several times) Rinpoche also announced to the whole world that I was infatuated and in love with David for ages. That's not technically true. It was only a crush. And only for a while.

Once, DollyDad said to me, "Don't you think you're a bit old to be having crushes?" Pffft, never too old.

Anyway, it's not like you want to marry them - you just think they're cute, and want to put them in a box so you can carry them around in your car all day!

I'm starting to worry about this distinctly nonsensical state of mind at the moment.

Am off to the MIFA launch party tonight and feel about as glamourous as a dishcloth. Starting to think I'm just not ever gonna be suited for this fashionable darling thing - takes too much bloody effort for not very much return.

They totally conned me - invited me to the party, and then rang me up the day before it happens to ask me to write two articles about it. I perasaanly asked straight out, "DO I GET PAID?!?" (you gotta check cos people seem to think writers can survive on water and grass and therefore never pay them). They said "Of course!", but I'm going to make sure I eat and drink everything I possibly can anyway, just in case I don't.