On the up: Wedding parties
On the down: Not finding a husband

As the now-official wedding planner, I went wedding gown shopping with Joy today (like 9 hours!) I've never seen so many wedding dresses in my life.

See, karma has a funny way of doing things: how did someone so anti-weddings like me end up writing for a bridal magazine AND planning a wedding within the span of only two months. Anyway, there's nothing you can't do when you put your mind to it and this is going to be a SPLENDID WEDDING just you watch!

Joy already looks gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous, even when she's just trying on dresses half asleep, and half ill. I can't wait for the whole thing to be put together plus the hair, plus the makeup, plus the glittery shoes, plus the big fat cake!

After the whole day, now I want to get married!

No no no no, not for the whole commitment thing, or the marriage til-death-do-us-part thing, or the love-forever thing, or the you-make-me-complete thing.

But just for the BIG FAT WEDDING PARTY. I'm looking most forward to
The cake!
The dress!
The vodka!

I've already picked out what kind of dress I want. All day, I kept trying to get Joy to try on the crazy big enormous can-can type dresses. "THAT ONE THAT ONE TRY THAT ONE!" But Joy is sophisticated and classic and she just gave me this look and said, "Yes, Yes that's very YOU lah." I'm so excited! I want to make my dress now! And I think I've got to start trying to lose weight RIGHT NOW for my future imaginary wedding party because I am as big as a house.

And the cake! I'm not sharing the cake with anyone. The guests will have their own separate cake. And I am going to eat my wedding cake all by myself - all three tiers of it.

And the vodka! No big horrid poncey Chinese dinner. Just a big fat pool party, where the pool is filled only with vodka and the decorations are made out of martini glasses.

Now the only problem is I have to find me a bloody husband and do all that commitment rubbish.