On the up: Nokia
On the down: Everything else
On the down: Everything else
The bad news is some fucker stole my phone in my own home when I had a party last week. The good news is that I got to go out and buy myself the most gorgeous phone in the world.
Seeeeeeeeeee!
It's such a very very clever phone and takes very very pretty pictures and plays very very fabulous songs. Now, I can upload heaps of angsty, pain-ridden songs about unrequited love by Rachael Yamagata, and whenever someone calls me, I get to hear I Want You, which is officially the best song about being obsessed with someone. (Hmmm, sounds soooo familiar)
So please call me, many times throughout the day, please please pleeeeeeeeeeeease!
I don't think it can be healthy to be this attached and in love with a phone. So very Baudrillard and The System of Objects isn't it, this whole transference of desire onto inanimate objects?
Okay, I'll stop trying to bullshit my way to sounding clever.
I decided that in the spirit of going to the gym Three Times A Week At Least, I would drag my sorry fat-laden ass there today and torture myself. Then, I decided to be even more of a hero and go to RPM and do every track kowkow crazy until my legs now feel like a 16wheeler truck's run over them. Don't know how I'm going to walk tomorrow and I sooo want to wear heels to the Kechara House CNY party (which I'm em-ceeing.... watch Paris make a fool of herself).
In between cardio machines and RPM though, I walked past this Totally Hot Guy and he smiled this Extra Big Smile at me.
Now, Totally Hot Guys do not smile at Girls Like Me, even if they're gay, so it made me feel really super paranoid.
When you're the fat ugly uncool kid at school, you learn to develop acute suspicions of anyone who is unusually nice to you (and the suspicions stay with you for the rest of your life).
So I ignored the THG and went off to the stepper.
After RPM, I saw the THG again and he smiled at me AGAIN. I didn't have my contacts so I was wondering who the fuck this freak was who kept smiling at me like he'd inhaled too much caffeine.
I went up and asked him, "Do I know you?!?!!" which I realised as soon as it was out of my mouth that it sounded like some really horrible bad pickup line or just totally rude.
Okay, so it turns out I do know him - we were talking about muscles with some yoga instructor a few weeks back. How exciting.
Then he started to talk to me about architecture and how he only eats boiled fish because he doesn't want to get fat. Then he started ranting about how evil his former boss was and how traumatised he is from this comment the boss had once made. I was standing there at the weights section just listening to him rant and rant and rant, and I'd only known him all of 10 minutes.
Confirmed Not Straight.
I suppose just by virtue of me thinking he is Totally Hot already qualifies him as gay. Congratulations to me, I have just introduced myself to yet another network of KL's Gay Community and am one step closer to never getting laid!
Speaking of hot guys, I had another weird sex dream last night and it was (apparently) funny enough to make Dory choke into her noodles at lunch today. Save it for tomorrow. Dolly has to go to bed and let her strung out legs sleep.
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